So what do you think?

Will Santa be visiting you this Christmas? Not likely. He’s been cancelled for safety reasons. He’s responsible for climate change and we’re all in terrible danger. [Who do we really need to cancel? For sure we all know]. The reindeer have been retired - and replaced by AI versions. And this year there’s a bit of a stocking shortage: the prices are rather high. But that’s OK because next year, there won’t be any inflation. Money will also be cancelled and you’ll only have to obey. It’s quite inconvenient supporting you, you’re simply no longer useful. Maybe just disappear to the country - but oh, you won’t be able to get there. You see, we’re going to stop you from driving, all for your own protection. Better to stay at home I guess and think twice about going out. If you’re not doing anything, there can hardly be a problem. There’s so much on your smartphone anyway - to occupy yourself with instead. Whole new universes and realities, delivered straight inside your head. We can even programme what you say and do, it’s all been thought out for you. Here’s a chip, just slide it in, and we’ll let you out … well, sometimes. And even better, you’ll get Christmas back. It’s called ending up, the turkey.